Has anyone ever wondered why there is such evil in the world? Think about all the negativity we see on a daily basis. Right now we have issues in Syria, soldiers not getting the mental health help they deserve and need so they turn around and kill people, people constantly fighting and killing each other, bullying in our schools, and the overall health of individuals is a negative thing we hear about constantly. How can we fix this? Would a new president help, would acts of kindness being spread help, or would looking to God help? Does anyone really know the answers to all of problems? Of Course God knows how all these actions and lifestyle will play out for all of us, but why is this negativity not changing any of us? What will it take for us to reach inside ourselves and change who we are?
I know in my own life I have hit some disappointments and pulled away from the Lord. After seeing all the hurt in the last couple weeks just with in our own little county I have decided I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to and need to work my faith back into my life on a more daily basis and essentially "suck it up" and do what the Lord wants me to do not what I want to do. I know I am not the "perfect" Christian and trust me I have no intention to become all out perfect Christian either. I do not attend church every Sunday, I don't read the bible everyday, and unfortunately we just cannot afford to give 10% of our income to the church as a tithe. I do however try to make a point to pray nightly with my children and read the bible a couple times a week and give freely of my time to the church. I feel teaching my children the importance of the Lord early will help instill faith in them and then they can have someone to reach out to when they have problems. Sometimes the power of prayer goes a long way and I want my children to realize this especially as I continue to work with them on praying for people that are hurt. I know one thing I struggle with is teaching them to pray for themselves. I work so hard on teaching them to pray for others when they are hurt, but I forget sometimes we need to pray for ourselves. I know I struggle to pray for me when I need it. Maybe this is why I have felt like I pulled back from my faith more in the last couple months.
These last few months I have hit road block after road block with working towards my goals. Sometimes it is just a matter of time, however my ability to run a marathon is up in the air right now. I recently went through an EMG (nerve test) and what the doctor found was that I have stressed nerve up in my neck. Well months of physical therapy will never heal the injury but can help relieve the symptoms. He then talked to me about my running and the constant repetition will put a lot of stress on my injury. I was very frustrated when I was leaving his office, and my mindset at the time was "I will show these doctors." Don't get me wrong this is still my mindset but first thing is first I will do my research and see how to effectively help my injury plus do the physical therapy. Then I am going to take control of my body back. I am no longer going to let my body control me. Along with gaining control of my body I have becoming more active in praying to God for guidance for me. I can't do this on my own, I know that my mind is not strong enough. I will seriously talk myself out of everything and tell myself I can't do stuff so I need God to carry me through this. So even though my goals have to be revisited and probably reconfigured, I am more than willing to change my lifestyle and my mindset till I can effectively achieve my goals. The doctor suggested instead of a full out marathon I set my sights on a Triathlon. I told him I would consider this as well. He explained that I could really damage my nerves if I did the constant pounding that comes with running for the whole 27 miles. I have come to accept what I heard a couple weeks ago now and am ready to do something about it. I however, am continuing to struggle with us as a society. I am finding that there is too much hurt in the world. I sometimes just want to cry when I see the news. I get tired of hearing all this negativity and I have to wonder what type of a world am I raising my kids in? I am scared for their future. Will they even have a future? As I was thinking about the world and what type of society we live in I started to think about the book of Proverbs. I sat down one night and just started at the beginning. I wanted to read the instructions of the Lord. If I could sit here and write out the whole chapter of Proverbs I would. Let me tell you, WE HAVE LOST SIGHT OF WHAT THE LORD INTENDED FOR US. I was stunned to read some of his instructions and then thought about my own life. At one point as I was reading about debts, all I could think was "college loans really go against what the lord wanted for us" or "I feel like such an idiot for even going to college and putting myself in this type of financial instability." Then I got to instructions about worries and interactions and so much more and I felt liberated. I picked out two verses that stuck with me that night that I thought fit all of us at this moment in time.
Proverbs 12:25 -Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.
Thinking about that...we could all just start saying something positive to people, even if it was just one person per day. Think about how the cycle would continue. I know that in my own life I have to really work on this.
Proverbs 16:9 - We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.
This stuck with me when I was thinking about the struggles I am facing with my goals. I chose what I wanted to do and I tried to work out how I was going to get there, but the Lord had another set of steps for me instead. I guess now I need to follow his plan because mine did not work. From here on out I am just going to do what my body can do in a day and at the end of the day, I am just going to accept what I got done. I hope that I will be able to get all that I want done in a day done, but only the Lord determines that.
I know that with the support of my caring husband and my family and the Lord I am going to reach the top of the mountain where I will find the ultimate happiness. I know that at some point I will change the world of one person and I will enjoy the life I am living now.
Here is to finding a new way of life for all of us. I can't do this alone. I know if we want the negativity to stop then we all have to work together to find the positive and only strive to keep moving in that direction. So here we go! One step at time.........
