I have been feeling this feeling of "I have no where to go from here" for weeks. I just ultimately have been wrapped up in this crazy life. I have not had time to breathe or think for a couple weeks now and of course it has not helped that people have made me feel guilty for participating in the summer school program instead of staying home with my kids and now the summer is over. This summer has completely flown by and what do I have to show for it....Nothing! I didn't get to run my marathon, I didn't lose weight like I wanted to, I didn't get my house organized as much as I wanted (but I did keep it clean), and I most certainly did not get to go out and visit friends like I wanted to either. Why might you ask? Because I have been spending my summer wrapped up in making a gazillion trips to warren doing what God has called Tony and I to do and prepare for a new foster child. Let me tell you....God really has challenged my strength with this over the summer and he almost broke me at the end. I really struggled to see the end to all this traveling and all these crazy meetings, but now that it is finally here, I can see the end result that God had wanted. God wanted this child to have a home with two parents and a stable routine. He wanted her to know what love is and the way a family functions. Now if I could get the meetings to stop (or at least slow down) we will be on our way to a stable routine and not spending every last dime (and then some) on gas. I have to keep telling myself that I need to trust in the Lord with all my heart. God has a plan for me and I just have to trust him. I know I have to start giving him all my worries and all my anxiety because personally, I am having problems keeping it all to myself anymore. I just can't keep up with everything on my own and I need to rely on God. Saying all this is so much easier than actually doing it, but I am going to try my hardest because over this next week, Tony and I have an absurd amount of stuff to get done, pennies to do it in, and personally just not enough man power to do it in. So if there is any week to start giving my worries over to God....it is this one. Let's all think about our own paths right now.....
How many of you feel that you have no where to go from here? Do you find strength in the Lord? I know it is really hard to think that you are being carried through this life by the lord and that is why there is only one set of footprints when we look around, but really that is what God is doing. God is helping us all get through this life and even though it is crazy he has a plan for all of us. I felt reminded of him carrying us and guiding us today during a wonderful Chalk Talk in which the artist drew Jesus watching over a boat during a storm. How true that fits for many of us at this moment. We are all facing storms in our lives whether it be the uncertainty of a health diagnosis, a death in the family, the loss of a job, struggles to pay bills, struggles to find a new job, etc. We are all there, and yet our Lord is right there with us. So like I said not only do I need to start giving my worries to the Lord, we all do because at the end of this storm, he will still be there. Look at the following bible verses:
"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course
of what others have had to face.
All you need to remember is that God will never let you down;
he'll never let you be pushed past your limit;
he'll always be there to help you come through it."
- 1
Corinthians 10:13
For he will shield you with his wings,
he will shelter with his feathers.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
- Psalm 91:4
Look how God really is going to be there through out every trial we might face. He is going to shelter us and protect us. At the end of the day we will always see one set of footprints and it is not because we are walking alone, it is because he has carried us through. I know that when I started this I said it would probably take me ten years to complete my goals, but I never thought so many road blocks would come up already. Lord knows I am struggling with all the things I have on my plate right now, but I need to stop and remember that he will help me. So even though things are tight with money right now, my shoulder hurts, a possible other health diagnosis looms over me, and I start back to work I am going to make the best of what I have and hope that God will see me through this storm. I know he has wonderful plans once it is all calm again. I hope that each and every one of you reading will also find that calm at the end of the storm soon because really we all have some where to go from here.
God bless all who are reading,
Amanda
Ps. God has given me the most amazing gift in life when he gave me my husband. We celebrated 6 years of marriage today and even though it was spent at home doing things around here, we got to enjoy our children (we went out earlier in the week). God knew what he was doing when he created Tony! I don't think I would be able to do half the stuff I do with out him. Now only do I rely on the lord but I rely on the love and support from a wonderful partner. I feel blessed to see many couples enjoying the love that unity brings and continue to hope their marriages will continue to blossom with in the holy spirit.
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