Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Well as I sit here on the last day of 2013 and watch the kids play together I reflect on the year as a whole. I am not sure if it was a good year for me personally, but I know that it was a year that will make me stronger as a person. As a family we welcomed two separate foster children in to our home and one still remains and we couldn't ask for a better family structure at this point. We were able to take a family vacation, I continued to work as hard as I possibly could with all my health issues and I still strived to be the best I could be, but at the end of the day my health won out. After seeing the first neurologist and being told I simply have fibromyalgia, my doctor and I wanted a second opinion. So off to Pittsburgh I went right before Christmas and that neurologist is thinking I have a disorder called PsuedoTumor cerebi. My body is producing too much spinal fluid causing similiar effects of a brain tumor. This diagnosis online finally made sense to me and described everything I was trying to tell the first neurologist and he just wasn’t listening. So after the first of the year I will be having some procedures done to possibly relieve the pain and pressure I get! Yay! I am excited for that part as I am tired of not sleeping at night or having nerve problems. I am hoping that I am one of those cases where they remove the spinal fluid one time and all problems are cured and there is no flare ups again. Wouldn’t that just be the best outcome for me. These issues have really taken a big toll on me these last couple months to the point where I have trouble seeing and using the right side of my body. I had to make the choice to leave my full time employment. I need the ability right now to just sit when I am tired and to work at my own pace. I know that staying home with the boys will be out of my comfort zone a little bit but at the end of the day I am excited to say I am a stay at home mommy and starting out 2014 that way relieves a lot of worries. I know that there will be a TON of struggles we will face in the upcoming year but at this point I need to focus on me. If I can focus on me for a little while then I can become the best mom that I know I can be.
So for the year 2014 I am going to make some changes with me….I am going to change the way I eat, change the way I view life and begin to focus on my relationship with the lord more. I have lost a lot faith in this past year but I don’t want it to slow me down anymore. I am going to start out strong. I have gotten some bible studies ready and have thought about how to organize and structure my days so that I am able to spend some time alone to focus on the Lord and me. I would like to encourage all of you to do this as well. Time alone with the Lord is valuable for all of us and it can really start to change the way we all feel. I am hoping that this time and this diet change will begin to help my problems in their own way. I have everything all lined up and ready to go and I am going to “Eat to Live” and pray a whole heck of a lot. I am vowing not to have any resolutions this year. I am going to have the lord carry me through 2014 as he sees fit. I am just going to do what he asks. The only thing I am going to do is change the way I eat….I am going to eat more fruits and vegetables, less bread and no sugar (pray for me here). I am cutting out dairy and I am going to start to do moderate exercise so that I can hopefully regain some strength back in my right side. I am and will continue to work towards running a marathon. I have not forgotten that goal yet! I am still determined to get there with the support of my family I know I can. So my friends don’t waste today making resolutions, we will hate ourselves in the February when we have broken them. Just vow to live out the year 2014 with the grace and help of the Lord. He really does carry us through this life.
The verse at the top of this post says it all. I knew I had to share it all with you when I read it on my “verse of the day” It said everything I wanted to say to myself. I needed to see that I or you should not be afraid for the upcoming year. The Lord is going to get us through the highs and the lows. So don’t fret on the year 2013 it is all over and we are all moving on to the next year. We are all here one more day and for a reason. Keep your heads up high and keep striving for happiness in your goals!
Happy New Year Everyone and May God Bless you all in the upcoming year!
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