Well when I started this blog I wanted to challenge myself to run a marathon. I wanted to blog about the journey of running a marathon and enjoying the different things that go with it, however the Lord had other plans for me. Not even a month into my running was I having health problems that put me in physical therapy and from there it has been a crazy whirlwind. It turns out that what we thought was a shoulder problem is actually a spinal problem. After almost a year of appointments and seeing specialist after specialist, I FINALLY have received the diagnosis of PseudoTumor Cerebi. My spinal fluid pressure is elevated causing nerve problems, headaches, vision loss, hearing problems, and fatigue. A doctor finally sat down and listened to my symptom patterns and ALL the symptoms and was able to order the right tests. So where do I go from here? Well that is the big question! I have an MRA scheduled to ensure that there are no blood clots in my brain causing the increases in pressure and I also will start a medication. He also wants me to lose 40-50 pounds to see if that helps. With this diagnosis, I have to re-challenge and refocus myself and start over from scratch! I have redefine what my challenges are in life to find my ultimate happiness.
As many of you know I have had to quit my full time job due to the health problems and all the appointments. I just could not focus with daily headaches and daily fatigue. I have since then continued to work part-time and become a stay at home mommy! This whole mommy 24-7 is crazy, challenging, and sometimes frustrating, but I would not change it for the world. My boys are the best (even though I get upset with all the fighting). I love what I am doing but at the same time I want to have something that makes myself feel successful. That desire for success is something I crave! I have decided that I am going to refocus my abilities on my blogging, on my desire to create things, and on my need to spread the word of the Lord. I realize that 40-50 pounds is a lot of weight to lose and I can't do it alone! After reading the Eat to live book and The Daniel Plan, I am ready to undertake this challenge. I am ready to challenge myself and kick butt! I have to figure out my limitations as exercise can increase the brain pressure. I am not able to run as that really increases the pressure in my head and I also have to understand that at times I do need to rest because today my headache about knocked me out. I have to accept that days will not always go as I plan and I have to accept those plans. So even though I am finally able to have an understanding about my medical problems, I still have the desire to find happiness. So I am reorganizing my challenges so that I can fit them to my abilities at this point in my life! I am not giving up on my marathon idea (at least not yet) but I may have to dial it back till I see if the medication and weight loss helps! I am sure the Neuro-Ophthalmologist will have something to add as well when I see him in three weeks but I am hopeful until then I will be able to maintain where I am at. So from here on out I am challenging myself to the following goals:
1. Walk a 5K in 35 minutes by fall!
2. Lose 25-30 pounds by August/September
3. Continue to read the bible, but not just read it I want to actually study it and spend time in the word of the Lord. I am going to follow The Daniel Plan and where fitness and food is the key, Faith is the main component and it asks that you spend time in the bible at least 10 minutes a day. So as long as I can maintain this plan (which I will because I have an understanding that my body does not belong to me, it belongs to the Lord).
4. Read a book a week (I love to read and I want to develop this habit again and I want to teach my children that reading is important)
5. Accept that I may only be able to work part-time and realize that being a mommy is more important than success! God has a plan and a purpose for me and I pray that I can continue to inspire children that pass through my home or that I will be able to do his work as he desires!
6. Blog weekly (if it kills me) about my struggles with Pseudo Tumor, stay at home mommy drama, or any other topic that may come to mind for the week! I have lots to say and lots I want to do so I literally just have to be able to sit down and give myself the time to write it out! I want to be able to inspire people with anything. I want to be able to spread the word of the Lord and to share with people what I am studying!
Are you guys ready for the big challenge....
7. I WANT TO WRITE A BOOK!!! The Lord has laid it on my heart to write about something (don't want to give out my idea) and I am hopeful that I will be able to start writing (after I study the material the Lord wants me to look at) in the fall! I am hoping that with these new challenges that fit my abilities I will be able to achieve my ultimate Happiness.
These Goals (challenges) are my new found future! I am going to post these goals in my view for daily reminding and I will be able to enjoy happiness. I know that I have several struggles ahead of me, but I will look them all in the face with God there along with me. It is time to refocus and become new!
May God Bless all of you,
Amanda
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. -Romans 12:2
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