Life.....

We have this HOPE as an anchor for our soul: firm and secure. 

Hebrews 6:19

You know this mommy job is tough, but this Wife job is harder! I think the husbands make it harder on all of us wives at times.  I realized last night that my husband sometimes is not the most understanding person in the world and at the end of the night I go to bed more frustrated at him than I should.  Wives when we stood at the altar we took a vow to love these men and sometimes the unconditional love that we give our children gets in the way.  We forget our husbands and they get angry with us when we come home with one more thing to add to our wifely duties.  Last night was no exception for me.  As a wife and mother, I find myself going to appointment after appointment, activity after activity, and doing load of laundry after load laundry. However, I never see myself on a date night with my husband anymore or even having a conversation with him that doesn’t have a child’s name in it.  I mean when you think about it how can I be a loving wife when I am a mother?  

When my first child was born, I never felt love like that before.  It was amazing! How I knew it was him crying in the nursery (I had a c-section so he had to stay in the nursery the first night).  But I also felt a new love for my husband.  We had created this amazing little creature together and I couldn’t wait to embark on this journey of being parents with anyone but him.  Then this amazing creature turned into two amazing creatures and they both turned into toddlers and now one is 4 and one is 18 months and we can’t catch break.  Between Karate and tee-ball and preschool and work and community things that we both like to do, there is not much time for us.  O wait I forgot to mention the 16 year old foster child as well that also has activities and school functions and things that she wants to go to! So again LIFE happens! And here we are 7 years into a marriage and we forget who each other is because we get caught up in the KIDS.  Well I love my kids don’t get me wrong, but I have to remember that I loved my husband first! I don’t want to be the next person that calls it quits because of “irreconcilable differences!”  I want to be that person that shows their kids how to have a marriage built on GOD, HOPE, LOVE, FAITH, HARD WORK, and FUN! I want to be that wife that gets back into realizing why I loved my husband in the first place.  I have to get back to why we even walked down the aisle in the first place.  These are the things that need to be first in my mind all the time.  Between the two of us we have to make “us” the priority! The kids are great but in this generation if we don’t show them a great foundation of a what a marriage is supposed to be the divorce rate will continue to rise.  I don’t want my children to learn the struggles of that.  I want to show them that sometimes people can have a fighting chance when they really work on things and when they really remember why they fell in love in the first place.

It is time to spend time with my husband, but first I have to spend time with God.  I have to focus on my relationship with God so that I have a stronger marriage.  Marriages are tough these days and in this economy and generation they are even harder.  We don’t put a lot of emphasis on the Holy spirit! We have to start focusing on the true reason we say our vows and the true reason why fell for each other in the first place. One of the ways I am learning to do this through Mercy.  Think about Mercy and Marriage! If you are in a strong marriage you are obviously able to give the other Mercy.  In Ephesians 4:2 it states “Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”  Why can’t we do that when kids are added into the pictures of marriages?  It seems like husbands and wives start attacking faults at increasing levels and that is where I want to stop and focus more of my time.  I want to go back to the days where I was patient with my husband and accepting of his faults and him of mine.  I think if I start to show mercy with in my home to my husband that maybe my kids will learn how to show mercy to others and then the cycle with trickle down.  Marriages are built on strong foundations of faith and I hope that I can get my family to be on that strong foundation for many years to come.  

So I am off to challenge myself to love my kids but remember that my husband came first and on this Father’s Day Honor him by showing him Mercy when he forgets to tell me what his schedule is at work or to take the garbage out or to remember that I just asked him to help me by running a simple errand.  I am hopeful that he will be accepting of this new change and maybe it will change the way he looks and treats me in the end.  After all 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says exactly how we should love one and how Love will always win out.  I heard those words on my wedding day, posted them on bookmarks as favors, I have them on a Mirror in my house, I have them everywhere! So I type out the verse I think I am ready to LOVE with all my heart Through GOD so that I have a strong marriage.  I want to have a  “Love is patient, Love is Kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, and it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always preserves.”  kind of marriage.  So Friends, before you go off and do whatever it is you’re about to go do, remember why you got married and think how you start focusing on your spouse first.  The kids will survive if you make daddy’s or mommy’s lunch first a couple days a week! Showing our kids a strong foundation at home might change the future and right now marriages don’t last long...we should try and change that! Our kids deserve that!

God Bless!