This past week has been a very trying week for me mentally and emotionally and I guess physically. My body is truly exhausted because as I sit here typing it is taking all that I have to stay awake. In the last week I have not gotten to run or exercise at all (and I know it because I have been eating alot more due to stress), I have spoken to a dr regarding a mild case of postpartum depression, it was a rough week at work, we lost our TV, phone, and modem to an electrical storm causing us to spend money we did not have, and tonight I realized that tomorrow is the 15th and I have ALOT of paperwork to do for our foster child and my second job! YIKES! But you know what I look at all these things that happened and realize all of them are things that I can control....well all but the electrical storm. Only God can control the weather and unfortunately he chose to challenge us with a lightening strike. My response to God tonight is, "I got this." I might not look or feel like I got this life under control but I do. I have the power of prayer and faith and I can do this! I was honest with myself this week and it has changed the way I see myself and this life. I admitted to myself that I was struggling emotionally and even though I was truly trying to work on it myself...it turns out you can't! I need the support of my husband and God! Praying to God for help emotionally led me to be honest and call a dr and find out if my suspicions were correct and the next path to take! Well I am going to work really hard to find stability mentally and emotionally because physically I need too. My body cannot take the sleepless nights anymore or the intense irritability. I want to feel like I did yesterday and today everyday! I want to feel confidence in myself and know that God really is carrying me through this life and this challenge.
So in my prayers this last week I have been asking God to show me some words of inspiration and today he came through! I am sure that many of you use Pinterest (which is something I never wanted to start doing but I did and now I like to look there for inspiration)! I found God's words today that he wanted me to see and I would like to share those with you. I searched the "quote" area for a while today and read this: "Be careful about what you think. Your thoughts run your life. - Proverbs 4:23"
All I could think when I read this was "Thank you God! You are right, my thoughts are running my life." I am a constant negative thinker, you know the pessimistic type! It drives my husband crazy! Tonight God has spoken so if it means that I have to constantly say positive things about myself I will. And my first thought is "I will believe in myself to do this!" God has given me a great husband two beautiful boys and a foster child who at times proves to be challenging, but in the end I know that I am doing God's work! So I am sorry for making this short tonight but tomorrow is a new day and I will post all my new thoughts on how to conquer this challenge I have set for myself more effectively! But for tonight I am starting to think positively and know that I can raise my "three" kids, have a great marriage, work two jobs, and still have time for God and myself!!! Those negative thoughts I was thinking will be no more, I am tired of them running my life! God will give me the strength to do this and I hope he starts soon because I officially registered for my very first 5K tonight!!!
May God Bless each of you in your own challenging endeavors!
Amanda
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