Why do we care what others think?

“It is a dangerous trap to be concerned with

what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord,

you are safe.”

Proverbs 29:25

The other day I was working on my business plan and thinking to myself, why am I even bothering I will never be successful at this. No one will ever like this idea. Why am I even trying! I was at a really hard point in the process and I just didn't know what to do. So I started in with all this negative thinking. I don't know why we do that to ourselves. It is seriously silly that we do that to ourselves. I mean my business plan is an inspiration that I had years ago sitting in college and to this day I still believe it is God's purpose for my life. So here I am struggling with all the planning, all the writing, researching, and soon to be marketing; to possibly getting this idea off the ground. I am having a lot of problems at this stage because I will soon have to face the public with my idea. All the people I grew up with will soon know my idea and I will have to face my community to say I want to make it better with another business. It is a scary feeling wondering what people will think of me and how they will perceive my idea, but in the end I have to trust the Lord with this. He put this in my hands years ago when sitting in college he gave me the inspiration to not be a vet and to be a counselor, he gave me this inspiration years ago when I decided to research this topic and talk about it years ago. He knew this was meant for me. It just took the steps to get there. Now it will just take these last few steps to get there again. Can I accomplish....Maybe! I hope so! In the end though I know I don't want to care what others are thinking of me. I want to be able to hold me head high and say that I can trust in the Lord.

Can you say that you trust in the lord and don't care what others think about you?  I certainly hope so.  Please don't fall into the people pleasing trap.  As the verse says above... "It is a dangerous trap to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust in the Lord you are safe." Proverbs 29:25.  How true is that?  We do trap ourselves with our own negative thoughts.  We keep thinking about what others could be thinking.  It might not even be true.  We just assume.  In all honesty we never really know what people really think.  As a society we have broken so far away from communication and talking that it is so hard to tell what people really think anymore and really know.  We have to stop overwhelming ourselves with such a negative thinking of who we are what we are capable of.  Since I have started challenging myself I have learned that I am capable of much more that I thought I was.  Since I have started to rely on God to lead me I feel calmer....it is kind of relaxing.  In the end The Lord always answers our prayers.  Sometimes it is not always the answer we want or when we want it, but it is answered.  So stop caring what people think of you and let the Lord guide your life.  Your life will be calmer and you will be able to interact with others in a mood that you have never had before.  We are a unique species because God created us to have such communication and negative thoughts and sin, but he did that so we could learn how to live through him.  So live your life through God and keep practicing positive thoughts.  You can do it! I know I still need to practice :), especially when I get frustrated with things that are hard! 

I will pray for you all 

God Bless, 

Amanda 

The next generation....

"We're not keeping this to ourselves; we're passing it along to the generation!" 

Psalm 78:4 

Lately the one thing I have been struggling with is HOW MY KIDS SEE THE WORLD?  HOW WILL EVERYTHING I DO AFFECT MY KIDS?  This world is so full of problems anymore I am scared about the next generation.  The technology is overwhelming that kids don't even know how to communicate and play anymore because we just give them Ipads, Iphones, tablets, gameboys, and every other electronic device to keep them out of our way or to keep them occupied as babies so we can still enjoy "our" time as adults.  Do we even enjoy the small things in life anymore?  Family dinners, reading to our children, playing outside, or just having a simple conversation?  I think not.  I mean there is an app out there now that gives rewards for people to sit down and watch tv at the actual time that the shows are on, why?  Because DVR has become too convenient that the businesses are needing people to see the commercials! There are apps to get people to exercise, there are apps for shopping, parenting apps, communicating apps, but in reality these apps do nothing.  They are not human they are a computer! When you think about it if you depend on your phone so much as to tell you when to wake up, when to exercise, where to drive, what to listen to, how to parent your kids, and what to buy then you might as well be a computer! Do you really want your child to be that way?  I don't want my children like that at all! I want them to think for themselves so why do they need phones at age 7.....who are they really going to call?  I have a house phone they can use that.  I want them to learn how to use their imagination, that's why they have toys like blocks, animals, tractors, a barn, crayons, paper, dress up clothes, and paints.  They have a leap-pad tablet that they share but the time on that is limited and I have them play abc mouse a few times a week as well.  They both know how to use our Iphones and to reduce arguing I have an old cracked iphone with the same games so they each play with one for limited periods of times.  They prefer to be outside and to use their imagination over these computerized toys for now (thank goodness)! My oldest will be in kindergarten next year and I fear what he will be introduced to. I would prefer to keep his mind young and unaware of all the computerized junk that is out there! I mean seriously, Didn't the Iphone 5 just come out?  They are now advertising the Iphone 6! Am I missing something?  Geez I still have the Iphone4.  I myself am way behind on technology at this point.  I try to keep up, but how can you because what you learn one day is out dated the next!  I don't want my children to learn that we are just a computer generation and that in a marriage you don't communicate, or friends skype each other, or that God doesn't matter in a family.  I want my family to learn that God is important, that we need to communicate with one another, that imagination is important, that we pray about things, we work hard, we earn everything, reading is vital, learning is Key, and most important we have to love one another and to do that we have to have real conversations.  God created this world to progress, but in the progress each person has a purpose to fulfill.   I just hope that in all this computerized generation I will be able to keep my kids from the junk that is created.  We need to think about the next generation when we develop apps, when we expose our kids to things, or what we are teaching our kids! Sometimes when my husband and I sit up at night and watch Yukon Men, I wish I lived way up there in the middle of no where Alaska where there is no technology and they live off the land.  I envision how much I would be able to devote my life to teaching my children about nature, life, God, math (the right way and not this new way that confuses everyone), reading, and whatever else I could teach them without the use of technology.  I hope that even once they start school I will still be able to teach them some things here at home because I know their peers will be their biggest influences! This next generation is going to be more computerized than the current generation and we will only have ourselves to thank.  So spend sometime and get off your apps and do some thinking for yourself.  Figure out to exercise, how to cook a meal, how to have a conversation with your spouse or your kids, or how to watch tv because we need to figure out to progress forward again as a human and spend more time with the Lord.  Let's press upon the next generation the importance of being a real human and not a computer.  Let's teach them to communicate and to interact with others and how to earn things.  Lets teach them that the Lord is important so they know that they can do all things through Christ! Our kids are important, computers and phones are not! So let's put them down and make our kids important again! 

God Bless All of you, Gotta Go put a ninja Turtle Tattoo on now and Jump in the leaves after we finish watching the football game together! 

Want a New Life?... Me Too!

How often do you sit down and wish you had things differently?  I mean if you’re anything like me you probably pray for it every day right?  We pray for better financial situations, better relationships,better health, better circumstances all around!!! We are never satisfied with what we have. WHY?  Why are we never satisfied?  Why can’t we just be thankful for what God gave us?  I mean money pays our bills and puts food on the table, but why can’t we be happy with the life we have?  I struggle with hearing people complain and cut people down constantly every chance they get, and these social media sites are great in theory until you catch adults acting like teenagers or I guess I should say it UNCHRISTIAN like.  Basically people we are expecting our lives to be perfect here on earth.  We want the perfect house, the perfect relationship, the perfect society, and the perfect financial situation.  I have news for you….this is earth and life is not perfect!  We have to work at life, we have to accept what we were given and the situations we are put in and deal with them in a Christian way. Why, because one day we will be given the perfect life in heaven where we will have everything unflawed and laid out for us so neatly.  We will have no more struggles, no more adults acting like children, we will all get along, and we will all love one another.  This time and this place is affected by our sin and our unwillingness to live the way God intended...by his word. If we do not start to change that soon then eventually we will be so overcome with all the sin and hurt that there will be nothing left of good in the world.  You are not going to get a better life sitting on your butt writing nasty comments about people on facebook or twitter or google+!  NO, you get a better life by reading God’s word, volunteering, spreading his name, and just being a minister to others, but also by making yourself a healthier happier individual.  If you put your trust in the Lord he will provide for you.  I know I struggle to put my whole trust in the Lord but at this point in my life, we have come to that crossroads where it is time for me to say Lord, it is up to you! I know it says in the bible you are tithe every week and give of your money but my husband and I have never been able to do that….but I have always given of my time freely and willingly.  I have always volunteered at the church whenever I could because I can’t give of myself in the form of money.  Like I said money is not always what God is looking for.  God is looking for Love….He wants us to Love one another.  That is his biggest commandment.  So I choose to love other children by being a foster parent and I choose to love to work with other kids as that is my passion.  I love others no matter what their flaws, and even if a child has to leave my home for reasons I still choose to love and care about them.  I pray from them and hope that God will get them through because it will be the choices that they make that will cause them to struggle in their life.  We all have choices that define our lives, so please make good ones and choose to go and be in God’s word, and choose to love one another, and choose trust God with those finances and what ever decisions you make have faith and trust in the Lord as you make those those choices.  Hopefully, along the way we all will have our better life, if we choose to have this life with God!

“I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life

will be strong in love and be built on love.”

Ephesians 3:17 (NCV)

A New Season of Life

The loves of my life and the Greatest Season
God could have Given me. 

To Everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose' a time to keep and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 

As we get ready for a new season to start, I have to wonder about life.  This is something I have been wondering alot about lately.  What makes a person happy?  What makes the days drag on?  What is our exact purpose?  I mean there are so many questions and really no one to answer them.  As I get ready to start my second round of the Daniel Plan Bible study for Church, I have to wonder if people will be interested or actually show up.  Then I thought to myself this is a "new" thing in my life.  As I was thinking about the new step I was about to take I thought about the new season.  So I started to relate my steps with the scripture of the bible.  How great is the bible?  God has it all written for us! There is a reason for everything.  Every season of life has a purpose.  The loss of a job is a season of life! Moving to a new house, having a baby, raising a foster child, taking a new position at another job, volunteering at church, a child going to preschool, getting diagnosed with a medical condition, whatever the challenge or the praise is a season of life! God is giving us all a time to dance or a time cry, a time plant and a time to pluck what we plant.  Whatever is there it has a beginning and an end.  It will stop! Just like a season it will end.  How do we know this Look at life, life ends and scripture tells us that there is a time to be born and a time to die.  We don't know when our time is but until then we need to live our life to God's purpose.  Not our purpose.  Life is challenging, I see that don't worry I live a challenging life on my own but I am here to say that I want to change and depend on God to get me through life so that I can live life for his purpose.  I mean I am still really struggling with what I am here for in the first place.  I know that in the last few months we have gone through many challenges but I am ready to start with a fresh new outlook.  I am personally tired of my husband telling me I worry too much or I am too short with the kids because my nerves are shot after hearing the tantrums all day long.  I am tired of dealing with the personal attack from the foster child and the stress that puts on me personally.  I am tired of all this!!! I am tired of not sleeping, of snacking because I am stressed out, or not giving my all to my spouse because I am exhausted from dealing with the kids.  MOST OF ALL I AM TIRED OF NOT LOOKING HEALTHY AND FEELING HEALTHY.  I have lost 35 pounds with the Daniel plan and I still have at least 30-40 more to go.  I want to have the best mental clarity that I can have and the best amount of energy I can have.  I am just ready to stop living this way.  

I have been learning alot about the female brain thanks to Dr. Amen's book Unleash the Power of the Female Brain, I highly recommend this book!!!! Just saying but let me tell you the information in there combined with the Daniel Plan combined with me focusing on stopping all this nonsense I think I will see some results! I have to stop the negative thoughts and the Over emotional reactions that I get to things, but most of all I need to Depend on God.  He will get me through the exercises to help my brain and help me through the changes I am going to make.  I know that the kids are too young to understand, but I look for my spouse to hopefully be supportive.  I can't guarantee it but I pray for that.  I know that "I Walk in the strength of the lord." - Psalm 71:16.  Today starts a new season in my life, a season of change....... although I have not started it out very good as the kids have frustrated me and I am not focusing very well.  I am getting my plans written down and my new "plans of actions" ready for battle among the children! :) Needless to say I ready for the new season! I am ready to take on the wealth of information that the bible is going to give me along with the books I am reading and the bible studies I attend and the people I meet.  I also can't wait to see how God intends to lead me because I am depending on him.  I can't exactly live this type of life on my wisdom, I have to do it on God's.  So here goes nothing Hopefully I can continue to walk in the strength of the lord and continue to depend on God while I go through everything.  

I know that this will be a challenge especially as I go through the struggles with my back (I recently found out I have a bulging disc that cannot be fixed right now so I have to find exercises that I can do to try and stretch it out.  Plus we have my Psuedo Tumor to still deal with but that I think we finally have under control a little better now after almost 1.5 years of trying to figure out the headaches.  I am not getting the headaches as intense! :) That alone is a praise!!! I am just trying to figure out now what to do so that I can move forward and be the best that I can be! I want to move forward and finish losing the weight, continue to work on my challenges and find my ultimate happiness.  

“I trust in you, O Lord. You are my God. My times are in your

hands.” Psalm 31:14-15a

Uncertain Times Calls for Thankful Times

As I sat down Tonight, I didn’t know where to begin.  I knew I wanted to update you all on my goals, but I also wanted to bring in some scripture.  How could I tie the two things together? Then I was just checking out the Daily Bread App on my Kindle for (July 8) and how fitting it is for me in this time in my life.  The title… UNCERTAIN TIMES! How true! I have so many uncertainties right now have the time I can’t even think straight.  Will our finances work out, will Garrett be ok or will something happen in the surgery on Friday, will my headaches ever go away because right now I wish they would, can I get back on track with my diet if I can get our finances back on track….Just so much stuff piling on it seems one thing after another and this is just an Uncertain time for us all.  We all have Piles of uncertainties, but really what do they cause us… heartache, stress, worry, anxiety, depression, etc.  All emotions that God does not want us to have.  God wants us to show gratitude towards ourselves and others.  Imagine just sitting down and being thankful at the end of the night for all the small things in your life instead of going to bed worrying about all the BIG things that will greet you the next day.  

As I was looking at the scripture, Paul says everything we need to know “Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter.  Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right.  Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you.” - Philippians 4:6-9

Paul talks about prayer and how we shouldn’t worry.  God is there for us no matter what.  God is something far greater than what we can understand and that is the truth.  God is amazing.  He truly can work miracles, but we as a human race have to start giving things to God, myself included.  This whole don’t worry business is difficult…..especially when it comes to our children.  I know that recently my my attitude towards things caused an argument between my husband and I because I don’t get as angry because I see things as “God’s path for us or God’s purpose” where as he wants to be angry because the world is angry with us because all this terrible stuff is happening to us.  I feel it is to help become stronger as a couple in our marriage and our faith and again he feels it is because the world hates us.  Soooo the argument continues…..eventually I hope to win out ;) but at this point in life we all need to be more like Paul.  We need to start displaying the actions of his letters and being thankful for the gifts we were given.  If we all started journaling at least 3 things we had gratitude for at the end of the day before we closed our eyes I bet our moods would shift, our health would change, and our attitude towards others would be different.  I know in times of uncertainty it is hard to be thankful but look around you and I bet you can think of 3 things that you are thankful for.  I know going to bed tonight I can think of about 5-6.  Some of those things being the very goals/CHallenges that I have set out to write about on here.  When I started this I wanted to walk a 27 mile Marathon but I have had to change my goals so I wanted to update you all on the progress of the updated goals/Challenges.

1.  Walk a 5k in 35 min (I have walked 2 so far 42 minutes is my best time - I have some more planned for the year….still working on this one)

2.  Lose 25-30 pounds by Aug./Sept.  (I am currently down 26.5 pounds and it is only July)

3. Follow the Daniel Plan Bible Study (I am able to follow this and am currently leading one)

4. Read a book a week (this is a challenge still avg a book a month :( :( :( )

5. Accept that I can only work part time (I think I am finally at this point of acceptance.  I am coming up with things to help fill some time and earn money off and on so that is helping :) )

6. Blog weekly (This is still a challenge …..I am going to get better at this as well…..I am going to be adding another blog still looking into topics)

7.  I want to write a book! (I have picked out a couple different types of books and have been praying about this God has laid a couple things on my heart still need to see where this goes but it is going somewhere folks!!!!! Just can’t be sure where!)

So there you have it! I am making progress and I am starting to feel the effects of happiness…..when stress of everyday life is not in the way! I actually feel calmer knowing that I am challenging myself, and trying to show gratitude towards the ones around me.

Remember to be thankful for something tonight!

God Bless,

Amanda

Life.....

We have this HOPE as an anchor for our soul: firm and secure. 

Hebrews 6:19

You know this mommy job is tough, but this Wife job is harder! I think the husbands make it harder on all of us wives at times.  I realized last night that my husband sometimes is not the most understanding person in the world and at the end of the night I go to bed more frustrated at him than I should.  Wives when we stood at the altar we took a vow to love these men and sometimes the unconditional love that we give our children gets in the way.  We forget our husbands and they get angry with us when we come home with one more thing to add to our wifely duties.  Last night was no exception for me.  As a wife and mother, I find myself going to appointment after appointment, activity after activity, and doing load of laundry after load laundry. However, I never see myself on a date night with my husband anymore or even having a conversation with him that doesn’t have a child’s name in it.  I mean when you think about it how can I be a loving wife when I am a mother?  

When my first child was born, I never felt love like that before.  It was amazing! How I knew it was him crying in the nursery (I had a c-section so he had to stay in the nursery the first night).  But I also felt a new love for my husband.  We had created this amazing little creature together and I couldn’t wait to embark on this journey of being parents with anyone but him.  Then this amazing creature turned into two amazing creatures and they both turned into toddlers and now one is 4 and one is 18 months and we can’t catch break.  Between Karate and tee-ball and preschool and work and community things that we both like to do, there is not much time for us.  O wait I forgot to mention the 16 year old foster child as well that also has activities and school functions and things that she wants to go to! So again LIFE happens! And here we are 7 years into a marriage and we forget who each other is because we get caught up in the KIDS.  Well I love my kids don’t get me wrong, but I have to remember that I loved my husband first! I don’t want to be the next person that calls it quits because of “irreconcilable differences!”  I want to be that person that shows their kids how to have a marriage built on GOD, HOPE, LOVE, FAITH, HARD WORK, and FUN! I want to be that wife that gets back into realizing why I loved my husband in the first place.  I have to get back to why we even walked down the aisle in the first place.  These are the things that need to be first in my mind all the time.  Between the two of us we have to make “us” the priority! The kids are great but in this generation if we don’t show them a great foundation of a what a marriage is supposed to be the divorce rate will continue to rise.  I don’t want my children to learn the struggles of that.  I want to show them that sometimes people can have a fighting chance when they really work on things and when they really remember why they fell in love in the first place.

It is time to spend time with my husband, but first I have to spend time with God.  I have to focus on my relationship with God so that I have a stronger marriage.  Marriages are tough these days and in this economy and generation they are even harder.  We don’t put a lot of emphasis on the Holy spirit! We have to start focusing on the true reason we say our vows and the true reason why fell for each other in the first place. One of the ways I am learning to do this through Mercy.  Think about Mercy and Marriage! If you are in a strong marriage you are obviously able to give the other Mercy.  In Ephesians 4:2 it states “Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”  Why can’t we do that when kids are added into the pictures of marriages?  It seems like husbands and wives start attacking faults at increasing levels and that is where I want to stop and focus more of my time.  I want to go back to the days where I was patient with my husband and accepting of his faults and him of mine.  I think if I start to show mercy with in my home to my husband that maybe my kids will learn how to show mercy to others and then the cycle with trickle down.  Marriages are built on strong foundations of faith and I hope that I can get my family to be on that strong foundation for many years to come.  

So I am off to challenge myself to love my kids but remember that my husband came first and on this Father’s Day Honor him by showing him Mercy when he forgets to tell me what his schedule is at work or to take the garbage out or to remember that I just asked him to help me by running a simple errand.  I am hopeful that he will be accepting of this new change and maybe it will change the way he looks and treats me in the end.  After all 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says exactly how we should love one and how Love will always win out.  I heard those words on my wedding day, posted them on bookmarks as favors, I have them on a Mirror in my house, I have them everywhere! So I type out the verse I think I am ready to LOVE with all my heart Through GOD so that I have a strong marriage.  I want to have a  “Love is patient, Love is Kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, and it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always preserves.”  kind of marriage.  So Friends, before you go off and do whatever it is you’re about to go do, remember why you got married and think how you start focusing on your spouse first.  The kids will survive if you make daddy’s or mommy’s lunch first a couple days a week! Showing our kids a strong foundation at home might change the future and right now marriages don’t last long...we should try and change that! Our kids deserve that!

God Bless!

Finally....

Well when I started this blog I wanted to challenge myself to run a marathon.  I wanted to blog about the journey of running a marathon and enjoying the different things that go with it, however the Lord had other plans for me.  Not even a month into my running was I having health problems that put me in physical therapy and from there it has been a crazy whirlwind.  It turns out that what we thought was a shoulder problem is actually a spinal problem.  After almost a year of appointments and seeing specialist after specialist, I FINALLY have received the diagnosis of PseudoTumor Cerebi.  My spinal fluid pressure is elevated causing nerve problems, headaches, vision loss, hearing problems, and fatigue.  A doctor finally sat down and listened to my symptom patterns and ALL the symptoms and was able to order the right tests.  So where do I go from here?  Well that is the big question! I have an MRA scheduled to ensure that there are no blood clots in my brain causing the increases in pressure and I also will start a medication.  He also wants me to lose 40-50 pounds to see if that helps.  With this diagnosis, I have to re-challenge and refocus myself and start over from scratch! I have redefine what my challenges are in life to find my ultimate happiness.

As many of you know I have had to quit my full time job due to the health problems and all the appointments.  I just could not focus with daily headaches and daily fatigue.  I have since then continued to work part-time and become a stay at home mommy! This whole mommy 24-7 is crazy, challenging, and sometimes frustrating, but I would not change it for the world.  My boys are the best (even though I get upset with all the fighting).  I love what I am doing but at the same time I want to have something that makes myself feel successful.  That desire for success is something I crave! I have decided that I am going to refocus my abilities on my blogging, on my desire to create things, and on my need to spread the word of the Lord.  I realize that 40-50 pounds is a lot of weight to lose and I can't do it alone! After reading the Eat to live book and The Daniel Plan, I am ready to undertake this challenge.  I am ready to challenge myself and kick butt! I have to figure out my limitations as exercise can increase the brain pressure.  I am not able to run as that really increases the pressure in my head and I also have to understand that at times I do need to rest because today my headache about knocked me out.  I have to accept that days will not always go as I plan and I have to accept those plans.  So even though I am finally able to have an understanding about my medical problems, I still have the desire to find happiness.  So I am reorganizing my challenges so that I can fit them to my abilities at this point in my life! I am not giving up on my marathon idea (at least not yet) but I may have to dial it back till I see if the medication and weight loss helps! I am sure the Neuro-Ophthalmologist will have something to add as well when I see him in three weeks but I am hopeful until then I will be able to maintain where I am at.  So from here on out I am challenging myself to the following goals:

1.  Walk a 5K in 35 minutes by fall!

2.  Lose 25-30 pounds by August/September

3.  Continue to read the bible, but not just read it I want to actually study it and spend time in the word of the Lord.  I am going to follow The Daniel Plan and where fitness and food is the key, Faith is the main component and it asks that you spend time in the bible at least 10 minutes a day.  So as long as I can maintain this plan (which I will because I have an understanding that my body does not belong to me, it belongs to the Lord).

4. Read a book a week (I love to read and I want to develop this habit again and I want to teach my children that reading is important)

5.  Accept that I may only be able to work part-time and realize that being a mommy is more important than success! God has a plan and a purpose for me and I pray that I can continue to inspire children that pass through my home or that I will be able to do his work as he desires!

6.  Blog weekly (if it kills me) about my struggles with Pseudo Tumor, stay at home mommy drama, or any other topic that may come to mind for the week! I have lots to say and lots I want to do so I literally just have to be able to sit down and give myself the time to write it out! I want to be able to inspire people with anything.  I want to be able to spread the word of the Lord and to share with people what I am studying!

Are you guys ready for the big challenge....

7.  I WANT TO WRITE A BOOK!!! The Lord has laid it on my heart to write about something (don't want to give out my idea) and I am hopeful that I will be able to start writing (after I study the material the Lord wants me to look at) in the fall! I am hoping that with these new challenges that fit my abilities I will be able to achieve my ultimate Happiness.

These Goals (challenges) are my new found future! I am going to post these goals in my view for daily reminding and I will be able to enjoy happiness.  I know that I have several struggles ahead of me, but I will look them all in the face with God there along with me.  It is time to refocus and become new!

May God Bless all of you,
Amanda

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. -Romans 12:2

Finding Strength and Building Habits

How many times have we all heard the saying, "you will never know love until you look in the eyes of a child?"  I think I had heard it a couple times before I had my own children.  And you know, those old sayings some times prove to be true! Us mothers and fathers think we love each other, but then we have children and we would do anything for those children.  We would give up on our relationships with each other just to ensure our children got all the things they needed. As mothers and fathers we stop meeting our own needs, especially when it comes to our relationships.  Well as I was actually taking some much needed quiet time alone this evening, I realized it is the same with the Lord.  We start out as children and praise the Lord and then as we grow older sometimes things fade.  We tend to give up practices that we were doing.  We just tend to forget to build things into our routines, especially as our routines change.

This is my biggest downfall in life! I can't seem to stick to things long enough to build it into a routine.  When I was doing a training for work I learned that doing something 7 times makes it learned but doing something 17 times makes it a habit.  Now if I could just get myself to exercise 17 straight days in a row or read from my bible 17 straight days in a row then I will be right on track with things.  ( I don't see this stuff happening).  I give of myself to others around me first! I would rather do things for other people than do something for myself.  I simply stress myself out trying to please other people.  How many of you do the same thing?  We simply can't stress ourselves out anymore.  I have to start looking at my day to day routines and cutting something out! I just have to give myself time to do something for me! Whether that is a little reading or crafting or just writing my blog.  I have to accept that my children will take up much of my time but if it means waking up earlier or going to bed later then I need to start taking the ten minutes to do something for me to continue to build my relationship with the Lord.  With God we can do anything including motherhood and fatherhood. Parenting is the hardest job that God has created.  I have not found any easy part to it yet.  I find myself praying for strength everyday when I am tired because of lack of sleep, or sore but the kids want to play, or even just annoyed because I have heard the word mommy a gazillion times in the day.  God has not failed me yet, but I have failed him.  We need to get back into our childhood routines, and make God important.  I want my children to see that I value my relationship with the Lord and their father.  I want my children to know that it takes a lot of work and dedication, but there is a much bigger payoff in the end. Our payoff is not here on earth but when we move on to be with the Lord.

I think we all should start to challenge ourselves with new routines.  I know we are well into 2014 and many of us have already given up on our resolutions, but we still have 10 months left to make good on our "new" routines and our new lifestyles.  I know it is going to be hard but like I said before 7 times we have a learned behavior 17 times and we have a habit.  So give yourself 17 straight days to build new habits into your routines. Don't forget to ask the Lord for Strength.  It says in Psalms 18:1-3 "I love you Lord; you are my strength.  The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.  He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold.  I will call on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, for he saves me from my enemies. The Lord tells us he is our rock and he is able to support us through anything and keep us safe from all our enemies.  Sometimes our enemies are us as we try to sabotage our new routines, but if we just keep praying for strength the Lord will help us when the temptation to sabotage ourselves start.  As a final word, Be strong with the Lord's mighty power Ephesians 6:10.  Whatever your "New" routines desire to be, make sure you do it all with the Lord and ask him for the strength to get you through 17 straight days of challenges and changes and the many more days after that!

Good luck and God Bless You all,

Amanda

The Hard Truth...

Talk about this new lifestyle being hard! I have a hard time controlling the temptations that my family puts in front of me.  I just can't help the fact that sometimes I want an Italian Sausage or Vension Sausage, or some other kind of yummy fattening food.  I must admit the food I am choosing to eat is expensive, time consuming to prepare, and at times not the most appealing.  I am having a hard time maintaining this considering I don't grocery shop very often and at times I despise cooking and trying new food.  However, I will continue because I feel that the weight loss is helping a little bit and I am looking forward to continuing to lose more.  I just hate how difficult this is.  I guess nobody said this is going to be easy but I have to just keep praying for strength to get through this.  I know that once I can get into the proper routine it will only get easier to continue.

Not only is this new lifestyle I am choosing to be on hard but so is being a stay at home mommy.  Especially a stay at home mommy that sometimes just doesn't feel good.  The last two days have been extremely tough.  I just couldn't nor did I want to do anything.  I have been logging my symptoms and my moods and I have found that the birth control pill and my symptoms match up.  I am noticing the changes based on certain days in the pack.  How ironic is that?  I am finally able to put two and two together and hopefully after my follow up appointment in Altoona on Monday I will be able to have some more answers.  I know I am having a hard time with the neurologist returning my calls.  I am hoping that things will work out! I can only hope right? This whole not feeling good and trying to be a mommy that takes care of the kids and the house has been extremely hard and not to mention this week I am trying to make a banner, clean the house, and make a cake for my foster daughter's birthday.  I just hope I have the ambition and the will power to do it all.  Last weekend I spent time creating a small craft and my worry jar! I utilized that today.  I am giving all my worries to God today because I have some.  I know that with him I can get through this.  With him I can continue to make my own baby wipes, my own laundry soap and whatever else I can find that "you can do yourself."  I am working hard at saving my pennies.  I need to at this point.  I am a stay at home mommy with limited money and I need to budget every last cent we have so that we can provide things for our family.  I am learning all kinds of new things....how to make laundry soap, dish soap, chalkboard paint (this is my favorite must say), and other different types of things in the home.  I have been making my own baby wipes for several weeks now and my little man with what I thought was "Chronic diaper rash" has not had many problems on his bum for several weeks!!! That makes for one happy baby, one happy mama and dada as we are saving some money! I am thinking I should start sharing some of the wonderful things I am learning! God is really amazing and after reading several passages out of the bible (yes I am behind on reading the bible every day for a year) but I am still reading it and I am finding out a lot about God and his glorious ways.  God is amazing and he will help me through my days when I sick and when I am feeling good.  He can do all that for all of you as well.  God is truly wonderful! With all that I am trying to do here at home this weekend, he has still laid a new idea on my heart and I just can't wait to work on it! I am hoping that it will be something I can make for others as well once I am finished with it! I will post pictures in my next blog of some of things I am working on! I want to start sharing things with you guys.  You are all so special to me and I hope that I can inspire you to take on different challenges with a strong heart and mind but especially a strong desire to follow God.

This life is proving to be tough, but I know that God is carrying me through especially as I continue to seek him out more everyday. I can't wait to show you pictures of the cake and of my creations over the next week! They are turning out to be better than I thought!

God Bless each of you reading tonight and remember this.... Even though life is hard, God makes it so much easier!

Amanda

The New Year!

The New Year has turned out to have an amazing start! I am excited to say that I am successfully utilizing the Eat to Live program.  I love that I have lost 9 pounds so far and it is only the 19th of January.  I have struggled with the Exercising part as my body is not cooperating.  My headaches have intensified and so have my neck and back pains.  I have contacted the Drs., but no one has returned my calls.  I am going to continue to push myself.  How does that saying go...No pain, No gain! If we all want to strive for our goals then we have to work hard for it.  I am hoping to continue to work hard throughout this year.  I know what I want in this life and I need to continue to work hard at it.  I think the only thing that is getting me through at this point is my trust in God.  God is my rock and I am currently learning how to have more faith through daily devotions and a faith challenge and I want to share some of my new found knowledge with you!

How many times have we all heard the sayings, "have a little faith" or "keep the faith."  I know I hear those things all the time and at times I have to wonder what exactly is faith.  Do I really have faith?  I know that I consider myself a christian, but do I really have faith that God will get me through this life?  My initial answer is absolutely not! I, in no means have any faith that God can get my family through.  I worry every single day that something could happen.  Like we can't afford our student loan bills at times....I have no faith God can help with that. Or how about my health.  I have lost faith that God would help me with that in the last several months.  So for me this faith challenge is going to be hard, it is going to be a challenge, and it is going to test my limits.  I have to just keep moving forward.  Essentially I need to figure out what faith is.  I need to learn to trust that God knows what he wants me to do with my life and that even though I can't afford my student loan bills now, someday I will be provided the ability to pay for them.  I have to stop and think to myself what can I do, how can I understand God and his intentions more, and how can I act to keep my life Christian and faithful.

Being a Christian and being faithful entangle alot more than just helping others and going to church and reading the bible.  I need to stop the worry, anxiety, depression, scared feelings, and anger when things don't go the way I want them to go.  I need to start letting God direct my life.  I said this was not going to be easy for me...I like to be in control but I have to trust that he will carry me.  My favorite and most read "story" or poem as a kid was "Footprints in the Sand."  How many of you have seen that in your grandparents' homes or other older adults?  I was able to get my great-grandmothers plaque and I have it hung in my dining room.  I know the poem by heart.  The guy is worried and he had asked God to help him but when he went through the sand there was only one set of footprints.  God then explains to him that he carried him through.  That poem or story (not sure what it really is) would be considered "faith."  This is what I need to have.  I need to have trust in God that he will carry me through everything.  So where I know this new lifestyle is hard and challenging, I know that God is going to carry me through.  I know that I would not have lost a pound a day without God.  I know that God has had to be with me in order to resist my urges to just eat what my family is eating.  I know that God has had to be with me when I am exercising because my body is killing me a couple hours later but while I am working out I feel so happy and healthy.  I have to continue with this life and keep praying that the lord will bless my choices and my path in life.  So I have to be the man on the beach.  I have to have trust that God will carry me through the things I cannot see yet.  That is having faith.  The Bible states in Hebrews 11:1 What is faith? It is the confident assurance that we hope for is going to happen.  It is the evidence of things we cannot see.  I am going to need to be confident in what the lord is doing with my life.  I know that at the end of the day I pray, make decisions, and hope for the best but I also worry about all my decisions.  I have to stop the worry.  So as part of my faith challenge...I am starting a "worry jar" and I challenge you to do the same.  From now on if I start to worry about something it will go into the jar and God will carry it from there!  If you are like me and worry alot about your kids, finances, life, health, spouse, etc....let God hold those worries for you.  If I can do this, anyone can do this.  Put yourself out there and have faith in the things we cannot see! God Bless everyone and I hope your 2014 is starting off as good as mine.

God Bless,
Amanda

Ps.  Friends I pray that each of you have a wonderful week and that the Lord blesses each of you in your own way.  Good luck with all your endeavors and I hope to be writing more with my new so called "stay at home mommy" status.  Talk to you all soon! Keep the Faith!!